Mostly Memories
by Spastic Spastic
Summary: Before Al tries to bring his mother back he wants to give Winry something, so if anything goes wrong she will have it as a reminder. Later they come to her house in shreds and armor. She realizes then that Al had tried to say goodbye. AlWinry.


_Title: Mostly Memories_

_Summary: Before Al tries to bring his mother back he wants to give Winry something, so if anything goes wrong she will have it as a reminder. Later they come to her house in shreds and armor. She realizes then that Al had tried to say goodbye. AlWinry._

_Disclaimer: I do not own Full Metal Alchemist._

IIIII

Alphonse held in his hands the doll that he had transmuted out of a large pile of sand. He had worked heavily to hone is Alchemic powers and he was catching up with Edward. Atleast he didn't make the doll with three legs, or only one eye, anymore because that tended to be the outcome. A malaise came over Al as remembered his mother always encouraging him, telling him that he was just as good as Ed, and that he was very special in his own way.

He missed that so much that there was a pang in his heart threatening to bring tears to his eyes.

Al shook his head not wanting to look as though he had just gotten done sobbing when he went to visit Winry. Of course his brother was looking over alchemy books, pouring his heart and soul into figuring out the right combination to bring their mother back, and Al wanted to help. Except he wanted to say a certain sort of goodbye to Winry first.

Al was not a pessimist. Like his brother he could be harshly realistic, although he preferred to be optimistic, mostly for others sakes. If anything did go wrong he wanted to give Winry something. Of course he could not give a single hint to her of what feat they were trying to accomplish. Nobody knew except them, and although it was grievous burden for a ten and eleven year old to carry, they had sworn to eachother that they would atleast try to bring back their mother.

Edward was the hardheaded determination behind it all. Al had been wary at first because he knew the rule of Equivalent exchange. What would they have to give up in return for their mother? Did they have enough to give up enough to bring back her soul? Bringing back a body was hard enough but if they accomplished that she would be nothing except a lifeless doll without her soul.

All of that worried Alphonse and he atleast wanted to thank Winry for all of her support. She had listened to his grief and let him cry albeit he tried fiercely not to. She had always been there and . . . she was just so kind to him.

Al looked at the doll again as he walked out of the house. It had red yarn hair and a blue dotted white dress on. It's eyes were two black buttons and a stitched smile spread widely across it's face. He hoped that she would like it. Even if she had grown out of her toy age it would be a nice present.

Even before he had walked up to the house Winry had opened the door with a warm smile, reminding Al of how his mother used to look as her sons would come racing home after a long day of hard play.

But the days of playing were over. It saddened Al more deeply than anyone realized.

"Hi Al!" Winry chirped happily. "Where's Ed?"

"Oh, he's back at the house," Al answered nervously. "I just wanted to, well, come over for a second . . ."

_"You can't tell anyone Al. If anyone catches us they'll try to stop it from happening. Do you understand?" Edward had drilled it into his younger brother's mind. "Not even Winry! I know you have a soft spot for her but don't let it slip no matter how much you might want to."_

"Oh." Winry walked down the porch. Her bare feet stuck out from a nice flowing dress, a pattern of red roses across it.

"What have you got there?" Winry asked curiously. "A doll?"

Alphonse blushed lightly and stuck it out, a quick ramble of words, "I just wanted to give this to you because it's like a thank you and I wanted to thank you for always being there and I wanted to thank you for being my friend and you're so nice and all so I thought-"

Winry broke him out of his rambling trance. "I don't play with dolls anymore but it's really cute. I'll put it on my shelf."

She took it in her hands and stared at it for a moment. She stood a foot from Al and he wondered what it would be like to give her a kiss on the cheek. Would her face send that same warm tingling sensation through his body like when she held his hand? Al wasn't sure if it would be proper to kiss her. He always thought that she would end up with his brother.

Al saw the way her eyes would shine when Edward was in the room. Winry didn't look at him the same way.

Winry reached out and held his hand tightly. "You look worried," She said with concern. "Is everything okay?"

If only he could tell her. If only he had the guts to tell her how he felt. Or even about what he and Edward were going to do.

There was something within Al that told him he and his brother would pay greatly for defying the laws of alchemy but what else could they do? The need for the loving parent was more anguish than they could bare. He had tried to be the reason but there was no logic in Edward's eyes. For all of the calculating that he did, all of the studying, he was consumed by grief. Just like Alphonse was.

"I'm okay," He lied between his teeth. He hated to lie to Winry but he could not betray his brother. Or his mother.

_"It'll work," Edward always said. "It has too."_

_Nothing _has_ to work, Nii-san_, Al thought glumly.

"I can tell that you aren't. You may try to lie but your eyes always tell the truth," Winry said sternly. She gripped his hand. "Did Edward say something to upset you? If he has I'll go grab a wrench!"

No smile played upon his lips but he appreciated the concern. "Thanks but no, he hasn't. Things are fine. I'm just a little . . . sad I guess."

Winry's instincts told her that he needed comfort and that was exactly what she did. She hugged him with such a force that her body communicated what she didn't say: "I don't want you to feel sad. I won't let you go until you smile for me."

Al wrapped his arms around her, letting his head dig into her neck. Childhood crushes were so simple but yet he knew it was something more. There was a love there that nothing could break. Even if she said something hurtful he would always forgive her. He would always let her inside his heart.

Winry let him go after a moment and smiled at him. Her smile was contagious since he smiled back, genuinely.

That was when they felt dribbles of rain come across them. Winry tucked the doll close to her body so it would not get wet. She flashed him a smile before asking, "Do you want to stay for dinner?"

"I'm sorry but I've got to go help Nii-san."

"Help Ed-" Winry was about to ask but her friend had already turned away. " . . . with what?"

IIIII

Blood. There was so much blood but Al could not feel it.

But the terror he felt was all too real.

He had to run. He had to run to Winry.

She would help them.

She would always be there.

"Nii-san, don't die on me! Please don't die!" Al begged from within his hollow shell of armor.

IIIII

Winry could not believe her eyes. She was stunned.

" . . . _Al_?"

_"I'm sorry but I'd got to go help Nii-san."_

It rang inside of her mind as she stood there, helpless to the feelings that abounded her. Her two best friends were before her - one without a body, and one missing two limbs.

IIIII

The surgery was a test of wills and stability of her emotions. Winry tried to encourage her friend, speak kind words, but watching him in so much pain was tearing her apart. She could not believe that they would chance their lives--no, she could believe it, but why didn't they come to her with their grief? Why didn't they reach out instead of trying to bring their mother back?

Of course she knew what it was like to loose a parent. Of course she would have done anything to get her mother back. And her father.

But something so dangerous that it could have killed them? Endangering both of their lives, leaving those who they loved behind to sulk in sorrow?

Winry could never have done that. She didn't want to believe that they would either.

"Just a little longer Ed. Hold on and-" Her voice was pushed away as Edward screamed at a particularly painful part. Winry wanted to let tears fall but she would save that for behind closed doors. Edward needed her. She just wished that he would have realized that she would have helped him cope with the loss of a parent sooner.

_Al knows that but . . . _Winry thought but was stopped cold in her thought pattern. _He gave me that doll because he was trying to say good-bye because he knew what he was getting into! They knew that they could have died!_

Two large tears fell onto the floor but she wiped her eyes dry before Ed had even noticed they had fallen.

IIIII

When Al had heard Winry come into the guest room he asked, "How's Nii-san?"

"You jerk!" She yelled, anger and despair ruling her words. The doll that Al had made earlier that day collided with his armor but he did not feel it. "You can have that back. You--You--How_ could _you?"

"Winry please, I'm sorry," He tried to plead with her. Al could hear his own words echo within him as a regretful reminder of his price he had paid.

"_Sorry_? You could have died!" Winry pounded her fists on his armor. "You could have died, you idiot! You could have left me all alone! You and Ed both! Why? _Why_? Why would you do that?"

"I wanted mother back."

"I know but _I'm_ right here! _I'm_ alive!_ I_ could have helped you!" She retorted.

"But she was my mother and I just wanted her to tell me that . . . she loved me . . ."

Winry broke out in sobs, no longer using her fists to convey her anger, since it had broken down into fear and worry. She collapsed into him, not even flinching from the cold armor. "_I_ love you," She whispered.

Alphonse would have given anything to have felt her hug once more. He laid a large hand on her back and bent down to pick up the fallen doll. It had been the last thing he had made with his human hands and if he could have cried with her, he would have.

For those years of not crying, to show that he was handling himself well, it was only irony that he wished he could cry again.

"I made a mistake. I'm sorry," Alphonse said softly.

"Instead of apologizing just say that you love me too. It'd make me feel better."

Al had always liked the bluntness Winry possessed. He said, "I love you too."

The "I love you too" echoed. And echoed. And echoed until it faded away.

IIIII

So angsty. Reviews PLEASE?


End file.
